Sunday, October 5, 2008

microreview #555 - onefest 5 - the hasselhoff experiment, general winters' freak train, the autoharpies, and crude

To keep a string of reviews astringent and alive and spontaneous can be a difficult procedure because yr dealing with 'samey' situations and sounds. Perhaps a theme could be proffered for each new review. This week feminist. Next week post-structuralist . Naahhhhh. I ain't THAT academic, me mateys. Not me. Sorry Bob.

..A fly in a end-of-days stupor slams into the window and we recall the weekend.

Radio One throws these yearly parties called Onefests. This weekend saw number 5 down at...yep..Chicks Hotel in our favourite port community, Port Chalmers. (where????)
The Hasselhof Experiment were to re-invent themselves that night, yo MFs, we're back.
To me it was the AutoHarpies night. Me being a big fan and all. Even objectively indeed..scientitionisticly, it really was their night. because it is...OUR problem.
After my token 'look what i can do (with a bottle)' 30 minute performance the Harpies took their auto-pills and unleashed the fiercest, most atonal, most destructive, most evil, most machinistic, most unmanageable (and unmarketable) din I've heard from a live band in a long time. With a drummer auto-high and blasting binary..keeping a lid on the swirl just ever so slightly. A rhythm based band. Atonal - except for the devilry of their voices, a note sustained here and there. The retro-referential synth-horn-section overdriven and bastardized. Bass with indifferent forward-drive. Noise for noise sake. An apocalyptic, musically nihilistic tour de force.
I wonder to myself - my God - Radio One who is owned by (who?) who is owned by (who??) is celebrating and supporting this...this...noise?? These type of bands are pure art - pure dada, dirty to the core, as poor as a wall street exec...there must be someone on the inside...oh,,yes,,thats right. There is. Your place in heaven is secure, sir/madam.

The Disc Jockey of the evening was General Winter's Freak Train , aka Aaron Hawkins, spinning an curious mix of musics to suit the dangerously eclecticism of bands. Some really interesting noisey stuff..lotsa 'whats this'? and 'who's this' from me - buggin the dj like a star-fucker on ecstacy

Crude and The Autoharpies didn't truly fit in with the sound and style of the H.E, the former 2 acts blasting off into the acrid nether-regions of sound and unsound all arty like (not quite fitting into the new free noise/improv scene (I'm so sensitive. I'm so serious) OR the 'rock'n'roll scene (i'm so unpolitical. i'm so meat.I had sex)) or the punk scene (i don't care. I'm under 20 ) OR the indie lo-fi (my acoustic guitar is my mother) scene or the new doom scene(i smoke sooo much pot. I am male.)...even the dunedin scene (i'm from dunedin and i'm in a band so whatever we do its cool)) Maybe thats why the guys didn't turn up to see the support bands. Or maybe they did, but they weren't there when I was. They more than likely were on the road right up to the point of the show driving their v8 holden straight into the stage from outside jumping out and spraying the crowd with flame etc etc. Nevermind. Word is...they were....good. Yep. Fuggin good. Booze soaked rock. Drummer-in-trance plus buckled over gat gurgle-creature. Anti-Seenerama. They arrived, played and got outta dodge. Yeeeehawwww.
And so am I.
Sayonara you smelly south island retards!!!

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